AIDS FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK
George F.J. Lehner, Ph.D., Professor
of Psychology,
Some of the most important
data we can receive from others (or give to others) consists of feedback
related to our behavior. Such feedback
can provide learning opportunities for each of us if we can use the reactions
of others as a mirror for observing the consequences of our behavior. Such personal data feedback helps to make us
more aware of what we do and how we do it, thus increasing our ability to
modify and change our behavior and to become more effective in our interactions
with others.
To help us develop and use
the techniques of feedback for personal growth, it is necessary to understand
certain characteristics of the process. The
following is a brief outline of some factors which may assist us in making
better use of feedback, both as the giver and the receiver of feedback. This list is only a starting point. You may
wish to add further items to it.
1. Focus feedback
on behaviour rather than the person
It is important that we refer
to what a person does rather than comment on what we imagine he is. This focus on behavior further implies that we
use adverbs (which relate to qualities) when referring to a person. Thus we might say a person "talked
considerably in this meeting," rather than that person "is a
loudmouth". When we talk in terms
of "personality traits" it implies inherited, constant qualities
difficult, if not impossible, to change. Focusing on behavior implies that it is
something related to a specific situation that might be changed. It is less
threatening to a person to hear comments about his behavior than his
"traits".
2. Focus
feedback on observation rather than inferences
Observations refer to what we
can see or hear in the behaviour of another person,
while inferences refer to interpretations and conclusions which we make from
what we see or hear. In a sense, inferences or conclusions about a person
contaminate our observations, thus clouding the feedback for another person. When inferences or conclusions are shared and
it may be valuable to have this data, it is important that they be so
identified.
3. Focus
feedback on description rather than judgment
The effort to describe
represents a process for reporting what occurred, while judgment refers to an
evaluation in terms of good or bad, right or wrong, nice or not nice. The judgments’ arise out of a personal frame
of reference or values, whereas description represents neutral (as far as possible)
reporting.
4. Focus
feedback on descriptions of behavior in terms of "more or less"
rather than in terms of "either-or"
The "more or less"
terminology implies a continuum on which any behavior may fall, stressing
quantity, which is objective and meaningful rather than quality, which is
subjective and judgmental. Thus,
participation of a person may fall on a continuum from low participation to
high participation, rather than "good" or "bad"
participation. Not to think in terms of
"more or less" and the use of continua is to trap ourselves into
thinking in categories, which may then represent serious distortions of
reality.
5. Focus
feedback on behavior related to a specific situation, preferably to the
"here and now" rather than to behavior in the abstract, placing it in
the "there and then"
What you and I do is always
tied in some way to time and place, and we increase our understanding of
behavior by keeping it tied to time and place. Feedback is generally more meaningful if given
as soon as appropriate after the observation or reactions occur, thus keeping
it concrete and relatively free of distortions that come with the lapse of
time.
6. Focus feedback on the sharing of ideas and
information rather than on giving advice
By
sharing ideas and information we leave the person free to decide for himself,
in the light of his own goals in a particular situation at a particular time,
how to use the ideas and the information. When we give advice we tell him what to do
with the information, and in that sense we take away his freedom to determine
for himself what is for him the most appropriate course of action.
7. Focus feedback on exploration of alternatives rather
than answers or solutions
The
more we can focus on a variety of procedures and means for the attainment of a
particular goal, the less likely we are to accept our particular problem. Many of us go around with a collation of
answers and solutions for which there are no problems.
8. Focus feedback on the value it may have to the
recipient, not on the value or "release" that it provides the person
giving the feedback
The
feedback provided should serve the needs of the recipient rather than the needs
of the giver. Help and feedback need to
be given and heard as an offer, not an imposition.
9. Focus feedback on the amount of information that the
person receiving it can use, rather than on the amount that you have which you
might like to give
To
overload a person with feedback is to reduce the possibility that he may use
what he receives effectively. When we
give more than can be used we may be satisfying some need for ourselves rather
than helping the other person.
10. Focus feedback on time and place so that personal
data can be shared at appropriate times
Because
the reception and use of personal feedback involves many possible emotional
reactions, it is important to be sensitive to when it is appropriate to provide
feedback. Excellent feedback presented
at an inappropriate time may do more harm than good.
11. Focus feedback on what is said rather than why it is
said
The
aspects of feedback which relate to the what, how, when, where, of what is said
are observable characteristics. The why
of what is said takes us from the observable to the inferred, and brings up
questions of "motive" or "intent". It is maybe helpful to think of
"why" in terms of a specifiable goal or goals which can then be
considered in terms of time, place, procedures, probabilities of attainment,
etc. To make assumptions about the
motives of the person giving feedback may prevent us from hearing or cause us
to distort what is said. In short, if I
question "why" a person gives me feedback, I may not hear what he
says.
In
short, the giving (and receiving) of feedback requires courage, skill,
understanding and respect for self and others.
1975 University Associates
Publishers, Inc., http://www.fhs.mcmaster.ca/facdev/feedbackaid.pdf